How to annoy a Millennial or Centennial - and Laugh about it.

Teehee.

A friend of mine did this on Facebook. Here is what happened. And I shall colour code everything to keep it easy to follow and understand.

First, context, he was responding to a video about a Millennial who got offended by a Hula dancing bobblehead on the dashboard of a Lyft driver. In the video the young woman (who speaks like a Valley Girl) harasses the driver and is rude to him, accusing the driver of "Cultural Appropriation". She then proceeds to threaten the driver, claiming she is famous and that she will embarrass him on Gawker.

To which my friend said:

"Millennials are very frivolous and idealistic. The problem is when they say stupid idealistic things they make their whole generation look stupid.

And talking like a Valley Girl like definitely won't like help either."

To which a Millennial named JD responded:

"So why isn't that applied to every generation? We don't Blast Boomers as being stupid because of Ford, or any number of prime examples But yet here you are blasting millennials as a generalized whole because one stupid person made a fool of themselves."

To which he said:

"Because Millennials have a reputation for being idealistic, frivolous, easily manipulated, easily upset, obsessed with social media, uneducated, pampered, lacking skills, and unmotivated.

Thus when a Millennial says something stupid and idealistic, their reputation for being idealistic and uneducated becomes signatory of problems plaguing their whole generation.

Babyboomers have different qualities/failings. But they are comparatively realists with a sense of humour. Generation Y (my generation) are overeducated sarcastic pessimists."

 JD:

"So in other words mediatized pretensions"

Response:

"Oh yes. Forgot about that one. Millennials are Pretentious. Give a Millennial a Youtube channel and watch how big their head gets."

 JD:

"what is appalling is how readily and blatantly degrading, condescending, and better then thou you are towards millennials as a whole. If you even remotely acted like this towards black people, or women, or asians, I doubt you would find it remotely acceptable."

Different person:

*gets popcorn ready in anticipation of a good old fashioned Internet butthurt showdown*

Response from my friend:

Posts an emoji of a cat sleeping and says: "Sorry. Was there a Millennial talking? I fell asleep from boredom.

Gnight."

JD:

"Well since i annoy you so much and you despise me so much. Your quite the arbitrary and prejudiced ass"

Response from my friend the next morning:

"See? The Millennial just proved how Millennials behave.

He got upset very easily.
No sense of humour.
Is so pampered he just expects people to do as he pleases.
Frivolous insults.

And easily manipulated. I didn't even have to try.

Thank you JD for taking part in this demonstration."

Friend who posted the video:

"How did I sleep through this?"

His response:

"To be fair I slept through most of it too. ;)"

Followed by a cat eating a hamburger, fries and pop emoji.

 But wait, this story doesn't end.

JD the Millennial in a bit of idealistic and overly sensitive rage, then unfriends his Facebook friend.

My friend later discovers this and posts on his own Facebook page:

Overly sensitive Millennial

unfriended me because I said

Millennials are overly sensitive.

Irony. :)

 A different Millennial named KS responds:

"As a more relaxed defender of Millennials I will just say that whenever older people say or do dumb shit we generally attribute it to the individual but when a Millennial says or does the same thing it is pinned on our generation as a whole."

 To which my friend responds:

"That is almost exactly what I said.

And I listed the stereotypes of how Millennials behave (like getting upset easily, being easy to manipulate, being overly sensitive, no sense of humour) and then he went and proved it for me by doing exactly those things.

And I don't feel bad about it because I barely knew the guy, but what I did know is that he was one of these easily offended Millennials.

I asked him once: "You going for a smoke?"

And his response was: "Yeah. You got a problem with that? It is none of your business!"

Me: "I was just asking."

He immediately assumed I was judging him and got offended by the remote possibility that I was judging him.

And ultimately what I really ended up judging him for was how ridiculously overly sensitive he was."

 Different person responds:

"Thank you for listing these stereotypes. I value your opinion so I would like to ask how you propose Millennials overcome the stereotypes you have listed?"

 And response:

"Well lets see what the stereotypes are:

Idealistic, frivolous, easily manipulated, easily upset, little or no sense of humour, obsessed with social media, uneducated, pampered, lacking skills, and unmotivated.

Logically in an effort to combat these problems they should:

☆ Start with turning their cellphones off. Spend less time on the internet.
☆ Learn to relax and take a proverbial Chill Pill. Meditation would be handy too.
☆ Don't believe everything they hear / don't do what they are expected to do.
☆ Learn what it is like to fail at something without being given a gold star for participation.
☆ Learn actual skills that are useful in the real world. eg. Tweeting is not an useful skill, despite what Donald Trump says.
☆ Take their Idealism and use it to actually become motivated to do something with their life.
☆ Do something that is serious and important instead of wasting time and effort on meaningless friovolities.
☆ Learn to take a joke."

 Different friend joking responds:

"That's it! U triggered me. #unfriended ps. c u tonight"

 The friend with the popcorn from the previous comment:

"Weak sauce, and a waste of popcorn. Hope the next one is feistier than indignant."

 To which my friend responds:

"The Millennial Ragequit. Having been raised on participation stars they have no stomach for failure and a hard fight.

Think of it like going to a boxing match between a Generation Y and a Millennial, and the Millennial thinks he will win because he has been rewarded all his life just for participating, but is inexperienced and the moment he encounters difficulty he quits out of frustration.

Meanwhile the Generation Y is a pessimist. They know all about failure. They are experienced from many fights. They know no fight is ever won easily and that it takes determination and patience."

 So really it doesn't take much to annoy a Millennial. They are so sensitive you can beat them with a dismissive yawn, a cat emoji, intellect and humour. And because the Millennial lacks both skills and experience, they are helpless against such an experienced combatant.

For reference, here are the definitions courtesy of a few Google searches:

Gen·er·a·tion Y

noun
noun: Generation Y; plural noun: Generation Ys

1. the generation born in the 1980s and 1990s, comprising primarily the children of the baby boomers and typically perceived as increasingly familiar with digital and electronic technology. Generally perceived to be pessimists.

Mil·len·nial

miˈlenēəl/
noun
plural noun: millennials; plural noun: Millennials

1. a person reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century, reaching the age of 18 sometime between 2001 and 2009, and raised on technology and pampered by their Generation X parents. eg. "the industry brims with theories on what makes millennials tick"

Cen·ten·ni·al

senˈtenēəl/
noun
plural noun: centennials

1. a hundredth anniversary. eg. "the museum's centennial"

 

2. A person reaching young adulthood between the years 2010 and 2016. Perceived to possess many of the same qualities of Millenials, but more so because the standard had been set by the Millennials.

Gen·er·a·tion X

jenəˈrāSHən eks/
noun
noun: Generation X; plural noun: Generation Xs

1. the generation born after that of the baby boomers (roughly from the early 1960s to late 1970s), often perceived to be disaffected and directionless, but also considered to be realists.

Baby boom·er
noun
informal
plural noun: baby boomers

1. a person born in the years following World War II, when there was a temporary marked increase in the birth rate between 1946 and 1964. Baby boomers were highly influential on the economy and culture of the latter half of the 20th century. eg."America's health care costs are expected to soar as baby boomers become senior citizens"



And lastly I would like to propose a new one...

Trum·poc·a·lypse Sur·vi·vor
trəmpˈpäkəˌlips sərˈvīvər
noun: Trumpocalypse Survivor; plural noun: Trumpocalypse Survivors

1. a person who survives and remains alive after the complete financial destruction of the world, similar to what is described in the biblical book of Revelation, during which others will have died. eg. "the sole survivor of the Trumpocalypse".
2. a person born in the year 2017 or any year during the Trumpocalypse.
3. a person who survives World War 3 and the End of America.

In the future the word Trump will mean to cheat, someone who cheats, or someone who goes mad with power and launches nuclear weapons in an attempt to destroy all of mankind.