Crafting Compelling Dialogue: Tips for Writing Authentic Conversations

Dialogue is a powerful tool in writing that brings characters to life and drives the plot forward. Well-crafted dialogue creates authentic and engaging conversations that captivate readers. Whether you're writing a novel, screenplay, or short story, mastering the art of crafting compelling dialogue is essential. 

Below we will explore several tips to help you write authentic conversations that feel natural and add depth to your storytelling. 

Let's dive in!

1. Listen to Real Conversations: Pay attention to how people speak in real-life conversations. Observe the rhythm, word choices, and patterns of speech. Take note of the pauses, interruptions, and hesitations. Listening to authentic dialogue helps you capture the nuances and dynamics that make conversations feel real on the page.

2. Use Dialogue to Reveal Character: Dialogue is a powerful tool for revealing your characters' personalities, attitudes, and beliefs. Each character should have a distinct voice and speech patterns that reflect their unique traits. Consider their education, background, and experiences, and let these factors influence their speech. This consistency adds authenticity and depth to your characters.

3. Show, Don't Tell: Instead of telling readers information through exposition, let dialogue show it. Use conversations to convey emotions, backstory, conflicts, and character relationships. By revealing important details through dialogue, you engage readers and make them active participants in discovering your story.

4. Create Subtext: Great dialogue often contains subtext – underlying meanings or unspoken thoughts. Characters may say one thing but mean another. Use subtle cues, indirect language, and nonverbal cues to convey hidden intentions, desires, or conflicts. Subtext adds depth and intrigue to conversations.

5. Make it Purposeful: Every line of dialogue should have a purpose. It should either reveal information, advance the plot, develop character relationships, or provide insights into the story. Avoid meaningless small talk or excessive exposition. Keep the dialogue focused and impactful.

6. Use Tags and Beats Sparingly: Dialogue tags (e.g., "he said," "she asked") and beats (descriptive actions) are used to attribute dialogue to specific characters. While necessary for clarity, use them sparingly to avoid excessive repetition. Instead, let the dialogue itself and the context reveal who is speaking.

7. Balance Realism and Readability: While authentic dialogue is important, it should also be readable and engaging. Simplify and streamline conversations, removing unnecessary filler words and tangents. Strive for a balance between realism and readability to keep readers immersed in the story.

8. Embrace Silence and Pauses: Not all dialogue needs to be filled with constant chatter. Embrace the power of silence and pauses in conversations. They can convey tension, uncertainty, or introspection. Use them strategically to create a natural flow and build anticipation.

9. Edit and Refine: Once you've written your dialogue, take the time to edit and refine it. Read it aloud to ensure it sounds natural and flows smoothly. Remove any repetitive or redundant lines. Consider the pacing and rhythm, making adjustments as needed to enhance the impact of the conversation.

10. Seek Feedback: Share your dialogue with trusted peers, writing groups, or beta readers. Seek their feedback on the authenticity, clarity, and impact of the conversations. Outside perspectives can provide valuable insights and help you refine your dialogue.

Crafting compelling dialogue is an art that takes practice and attention to detail. By following these tips for writing authentic conversations, you can create dialogue that feels natural, reveals character, and drives your story forward. Remember to listen, observe, and edit diligently to achieve dialogue that resonates with readers and adds depth to your storytelling. 

Happy writing!

Creating Memorable Characters: Tips for Character Development in Writing

Memorable characters are the heart and soul of any compelling story. They bring the narrative to life, captivate readers, and leave a lasting impact. Whether you're writing a novel, short story, or screenplay, the art of character development is crucial. Below we will explore several tips to help you create memorable characters that resonate with your readers and elevate your storytelling.

Let's dive in!

1. Understand Your Characters: Take the time to fully understand your characters before you start writing. Develop their backgrounds, personalities, motivations, and flaws. Consider their past experiences, beliefs, and desires. The more you know about your characters, the more authentic and multidimensional they will become.

2. Give Them Depth: Avoid one-dimensional characters by adding depth and complexity. Explore their strengths and weaknesses, their fears and aspirations. Develop their internal conflicts and struggles, as well as their external challenges. Well-rounded characters feel more real and relatable to readers.

3. Create Unique Personalities: Craft unique personalities for your characters, making them distinct and memorable. Consider their quirks, mannerisms, speech patterns, and attitudes. Give them individual traits and preferences that differentiate them from one another. This diversity adds richness to your story's cast.

4. Provide Motivations: Give your characters clear and compelling motivations that drive their actions and decisions. Understand what they want, whether it's a specific goal, an emotional need, or a desire for change. Motivations add depth to characters and help readers empathize with their choices.

5. Flaws and Vulnerabilities: Flaws and vulnerabilities make characters relatable and human. Nobody is perfect, and flaws add realism to your characters' personalities. Explore their weaknesses, fears, and insecurities. This allows readers to connect with your characters on a deeper emotional level.

6. Show Growth and Development: Characters should evolve and grow throughout the story. Craft arcs that showcase their progression, whether it's overcoming challenges, learning valuable lessons, or changing their perspectives. Dynamic characters who experience personal growth are often the most memorable.

7. Use Descriptive Details: Utilize descriptive details to bring your characters to life. Describe their physical appearance, clothing choices, and unique features. Show their emotions through body language and facial expressions. These vivid details allow readers to visualize the characters and connect with them on a sensory level.

8. Relationships and Interactions: Develop meaningful relationships and interactions between your characters. Explore their dynamics, conflicts, and connections. Show how they influence and impact one another. Well-crafted relationships add depth and complexity to your characters' development.

9. Dialogue that Reveals: Craft dialogue that reveals your characters' personalities, attitudes, and relationships. Each character should have a distinctive voice and speech patterns. Through dialogue, you can show their emotions, beliefs, and conflicts. Engaging dialogue brings characters to life and advances the plot.

10. Consistency and Authenticity: Maintain consistency in your characters' behaviors, beliefs, and speech throughout the story. Avoid sudden changes or inconsistencies that can jar readers. Characters should feel authentic and true to their established traits and experiences.

Conclusion: Creating memorable characters is a crucial aspect of effective storytelling. By employing these tips for character development, you'll be able to craft dynamic, relatable, and multidimensional characters that resonate with your readers. Remember, well-developed characters can elevate your writing and draw readers into your story's world. So, embrace the art of character creation and watch your narrative come alive with unforgettable personalities. Happy writing!

How to tell if your Kimchi is Weak

My Korean friends will get this. :)

#1. People only eat 1 piece of your kimchi at a meal. The proper response is eating piece after piece in an effort to try and stop the taste of the previous pieces by drowning it in the taste of a new piece.

#2. Your mother or grandmother tastes your kimchi and then writes you out of their will.

#3. Your mother-in-law complains about how you are not raising your children to be Truly Korean.

#4. Your mother or grandmother sends you a package of their strong kimchi.

#5. Your husband always looks nostalgic when he talks about his mother's kimchi.

#6. Your children don't really understand why they have to have kimchi with every meal and refuse to eat it. "It is mandatory! Now eat your weak punishment!" Children never protest strong kimchi. They already understand it is punishment designed to toughen them up.

#7. White people compliment you on how great your kimchi tastes.




Personal Note

I have been thinking of adding more recipes to this website in the future.

Today for instance I made cornmeal pancakes. They were extremely tasty - and I literally made the recipe up as I went... to prove that I still got it.

You see, I used to make pancakes regularly years ago and would experiment with a variety of different pancake recipes. I eventually got to the point that I could basically make pancakes without any recipe at all and just wing it... and it would still taste good.

However my girlfriend doesn't like it when I do that. She is one of those people who always follows the recipe. She doesn't know how to improvise or make it up as she goes.

Another example, a few days ago I made homemade chocolate ice cream. Normally the recipe calls for heavy cream.

However I know that cream is basically just 25% butter and 75% milk. So I simply made the ice cream using melted butter and milk instead.

And it tastes great.

But don't tell my girlfriend that. She might start worrying about how many calories are in the ice cream...

Now back to the topic of kimchi, I could potentially try making that. However I know from the anecdotal experience of friends that if you don't make your kimchi spicy enough, then you basically just wasted your time.

And unfortunately, many English versions of kimchi recipes reduce the amount of spiciness - which is to say, they ruined the recipe by making it less spicy.

I am therefore looking for a Korean Cooking Class in Toronto - where perhaps I would be able to someday learn how to make Kimchi properly - with the correct amount of spiciness.

Wintergatan - Marble Musical Instrument

Mind Blown!

Wow.

Somebody had way too much time with their hands to make this musical instrument that uses marbles.

Mastering the Art of Storytelling: Tips for Engaging Narrative Writing

Storytelling is a captivating art that has been passed down through generations. Whether you're crafting a fictional tale, recounting personal experiences, or even writing non-fiction, the ability to engage readers through narrative writing is a valuable skill. In this article, we will explore several tips to help you master the art of storytelling and create compelling narratives that leave a lasting impact on your readers. Let's dive in!

1. Start with a Strong Hook: Begin your narrative with a captivating hook that grabs the reader's attention. This could be an intriguing statement, an action-packed scene, or a thought-provoking question. A strong opening will entice your readers to delve deeper into the story and keep them hooked from the very beginning.

2. Develop Relatable Characters: Compelling characters are the heart of any engaging narrative. Take the time to develop your characters, giving them depth, unique personalities, and relatable traits. Your readers should be able to connect with and care about the characters, becoming emotionally invested in their journey.

3. Create a Vivid Setting: Transport your readers to the world of your story by creating a vivid and immersive setting. Use descriptive language to paint a clear picture of the surroundings, incorporating sensory details to engage your readers' senses. A well-developed setting will enhance the overall atmosphere and make the story come alive.

4. Establish Conflict and Tension: Conflict is the driving force behind any compelling story. Introduce conflicts and obstacles that your characters must overcome, building suspense and tension throughout the narrative. This will keep your readers engaged and eager to discover how the characters navigate their challenges.

5. Show, Don't Tell: One of the most important principles of storytelling is to show rather than tell (although there are exceptions). Instead of simply stating emotions or events, use descriptive language and vivid imagery to create scenes that allow readers to experience the story firsthand. Show them the character's emotions, actions, and surroundings, allowing them to be active participants in the narrative. There are exceptions to this, like when writing a story that draws upon Fables or Fairy Tales you might adopt a more fable style of storytelling. Similarly hiding the telling in dialogue is a nice trick for sneaking in some telling for the sake of succinctness.
   

6. Maintain a Consistent Narrative Voice: Develop a distinct narrative voice that suits the tone and style of your story. Whether it's first-person or third-person narration, ensure consistency throughout the narrative to provide a cohesive reading experience. A well-defined voice adds depth to the story and helps readers connect with the narrator or protagonist.

7. Pace the Story Effectively: Maintain a balanced pace throughout your narrative to keep readers engaged. Vary the rhythm by incorporating moments of action and tension alongside quieter, introspective scenes. Experiment with pacing to build anticipation, create surprises, and give readers moments to catch their breath.

8. Utilize Dialogue: Dialogue is a powerful tool for bringing characters to life and advancing the plot. Use realistic and engaging dialogue that reveals insights into the characters' personalities, relationships, and motivations. Dialogue adds authenticity and dynamism to your narrative, making it more engaging for readers.

9. Use Foreshadowing and Plot Twists: Incorporate foreshadowing to create suspense and anticipation. Drop subtle hints or clues throughout the story that lead to surprising plot twists or revelations. Skillful use of foreshadowing keeps readers guessing and invested in the outcome of the narrative.

10. End with a Memorable Conclusion: Craft a memorable and satisfying conclusion that leaves a lasting impression on your readers. Tie up loose ends, provide resolution to conflicts, and leave room for reflection. A well-executed ending will leave your audience with a sense of closure and a desire to revisit the story again.

Mastering the art of storytelling requires a combination of creativity, practice, and attention to detail. By incorporating these tips into your narrative writing, you'll be well on your way to creating engaging stories that captivate and resonate with your readers. So, pick up your pen or open your word processor, and let the magic of storytelling unfold on the page. Happy writing!

The steadily dropping rate of professionally trained musicians

I was talking to several pianist buddies recently and we got into the topic of how not many people learn to play piano or wind / string instruments these days (ignoring guitar).

Government statistics on this topic unfortunately lumps people who sing in with musicians who actually know how to play an instrument. And singers include everyone from Madonna, Prince (R.I.P.) and Bono, so the average and median wages are skewed by the singers who makes millions.

In the USA, the median annual wage (2012 stat) was $67,579 USD for a musician / singer. (I was unable to find any statistics for Canada.)

But most musicians do well to make even close to that annual salary. Many musicians have to supplement their musical careers by also teaching music to anyone who wants to learn their particular instrument, whether it is piano lessons, guitar lessons, etc.

Guitar lessons, in my opinion, are fairly robust. Due to their demand in popular music.

It is pianos, wind instruments, cellos, violins and other string instruments that are suffering.

Part of the problem of trying to find statistics on this topic is that there aren't any. We have to rely on word of mouth via colleagues. There is no reliable source for such statistics.

Part of the problem of declining musicians I think is technology. In a world of cellphones, Pokemon Go, YouTube, Netflix, video games, computers everywhere - who has time to learn music these days?

Another problem is schools. Many high schools in the USA (and to a lesser extent in Canada) don't even offer music any more. Some do, if they happen to live in an affluent neighbourhood and their schools are well funded. Otherwise many schools are cutting out musical education to save on budget costs. Music is considered to be extra curricular, and therefore the responsibility of parents to sign their kids up for. Which many simply do not do.

On the topic of pianos, I came across the following article on elissamilne.wordpress.com:

Is the Study of Piano Declining in the United States of America?

By Elissa Milne - 2012.

This topic in the Tuesday afternoon line-up of MTNA Conference presentations seemed almost arcane on the page of the conference booklet, especially by way of comparison to other topics with immediate practical application in the 30 minute piano lesson. And the question seemed one of those asked-and-answered types: is the study of piano in decline? Hell, yeah. Who doesn’t know that, right?

But I’m an arcane-topic kind of chick, so I bounded with enthusiasm into this panel presentation-discussion. It was already impressive just checking out who was in the panel: Peter Jutras, who is the editor of the wonderful Clavier Companion; E.L. Lancaster, who is both Vice President and Keyboard-Editor-in-Chief of Alfred Publishing; Brian Chung, Vice President of the Kawai Corporation; Gary Ingle, CEO of MTNA; Mike Bates, Senior Member of the Institutional Solutions Group, Keyboard Division, Yamaha Corporation of America; and Sharon Girard, NCTM, a private piano teacher since 1976 in Connecticut.

To begin: college-level study (and beyond). The raw number of students taking piano as their major for the undergraduate degrees in the United States has increased significantly over the past twenty years (roughly a 25% increase), numbers for masters have increased slightly (currently around the 1000 mark) and numbers of students enrolled in doctoral programs with a piano major have increased astronomically (currently around 1000, up from only about 400 less than ten years ago). But these raw figures don’t tell the complete story. More and more piano majors (all levels) are international students (so these figures don’t reflect piano learning activity in the US in any case); there are more options for students to choose from when selecting their music major (so students who might previously have taken piano are now specialising in some other aspect of music); there are more students studying music (so the proportion of students piano majors in comparison to the entire student population cannot be inferred from the raw data).

What are piano teachers in the suburbs, cities and small towns noticing? An increase in adult students and in very young beginners (4 and 5 year olds) and a sharp decline in beginners aged 9 and 10. The GFC seems to have had a pronounced (negative) impact on enrollments, but further to this there seems to be a decline in the value parents in 2012 ascribe to piano lessons in the broad education of their children. From my Australian perspective I was also fascinated to learn that school teachers are drivers of enrollments in piano lessons! In Australia school teachers have absolutely no impact on the propensity of a child to begin lessons – and if anything, their neutral impact skews slightly negative. But in the US many children learn band instruments through the school, and so children can still have an instrumental education without taking private piano lessons. Apparently it’s the band teachers who promote piano to some large degree, and when those teachers don’t encourage piano lesson enrollment a sharp decline can be seen.

Next: sales of educational and classical print music. These sales have declined since 2006, but only slightly (4%), and it’s hard to see that as anything other than a ripple-on effect of the GFC. The breakdown of print music sales in the US works out at something like 19% Classical Music, 19% Christian Music and 13% piano methods, with the bulk of the remainder being taken up by pop titles. This proportion appears to have held steady. In any case, print music sales are a poor indicator of piano study, because younger siblings often use the print music older siblings used before them, and it’s entirely possible that in a climate of financial restraint parents are more likely to seek these kinds of economies.

We move on to sales of instruments: grand pianos, uprights, digital pianos and keyboards. There has been a massive decline in sales of grand pianos since 2005 – down from 35,000 then to around 12,000 now. Seeing as most new grand pianos are purchased by institutions and very rich people it’s possible to infer that the rich people are being careful and the institutions have had their budgets slashed – neither of which reflects on the current number of piano students in the US. It’s when we get to the other categories that we see some interesting trends. Upright acoustic piano sales are also consistently down, as are sales of digital pianos. The category that is doing just fine (although not increasing, particularly) is the under $200 keyboard. These instruments are purchased by parents who want to invest the bare minimum to afford their children access to music education, with the intention to trade up if their child demonstrates prolonged interest and/or aptitude. In the US roughly 1,000,000 units of this kind of keyboard has been sold every year for the past decade. Do the instruments live in the back of cupboards? Who knows! This statistic is as enigmatic as the numbers on grand piano sales in terms of establishing a trend of piano study decline in the United States (although it potentially reflects an opportunity).

Meantime, the percentage of MTNA members who teach the piano has been increasing. Again, this fact doesn’t really tell us anything: are memberships of MTNA in decline or are they increasing? Has there been a recent trend of the teachers of particular instrument families to not sign up to the Music Teachers Associations? Has the MTNA been catering very well for piano teachers of late, and dropping the ball as regards the other instruments?

One comment was made by a panelist that I found very interesting: “we live in a culture of deflection and distraction”, a comment intended to speak to a broad trend away from educational practice that engaged students in critical thinking and practical skill acquisition. I tend to take the view that gaming cultures are educationally preferable (in so very many ways) to traditional classroom practices, and I further take the view that learning the piano is much more like a game than it is like a traditional school classroom learning experience. But I suspect this comment reflects some things that are particularly true not of Western culture but of American culture.

Comments were opened to the audience, and one emerging theme (reflecting comments also made by panellists) was the tension between sport and piano in the broad culture of childhood in the US – this idea that you either play soccer or you learn the piano, the idea that promising students find themselves pressured into team sport participation that then compromises their musical education, and so forth. Implicit in this theme was the notion that parents these days just don’t get what piano lessons are for (as touched on above), that soccer and team sports are widely seen to provide benefits for children while piano lessons do not.

Another theme (again, reflecting comments already made by panelists) was that piano teachers are not very marketing savvy, and that they are not very technology savvy. Sometimes these two lacks merge into one big piano teacher fail, with piano teachers not taking advantage of the internet to reinforce community awareness of their services and not taking advantage of social media to communicate with current and prospective students. There was an implicit sense that piano teachers do not look at their teaching as being a business (much in this theme was not unpacked, but, I think, broadly understood by the audience).

A third theme was that piano teachers are often quite rigid in their idea about what they do; instead of looking at their available skill set and thinking about a range of services they can provide to the community, teachers imagine that their real job is to provide the same kind of piano lessons as those they received, last century. Some comments from the floor detailed the wide ranging activities some exception-to-the-rule teachers engage in in order to have a solid business model.

In short, I felt as if this session were the first two pages of an introduction to a 350 page book on the topic; we just began to frame the conversation when it came to an end. And as fascinating as what was said was what was not. What about socio-economics? Are there some parts of the United States where piano study is thriving? Some cities that are doing significantly better than others? [I can’t imagine piano lessons are as common as they used to be in Detroit, for example.] Are language issues an impediment to piano study? [The paucity of Spanish-language piano methods, for instance, as compared to Spanish-speaking population in the US surely indicates a swathe of the population disengaged from piano study.] How about the decline of the use of the acoustic piano in churches and other worship settings? [Once upon a time many not-wealthy churches would have a good, mid-range grand piano in addition to an organ.]

The panel mentioned the rise of online, do-it-yourself-by-watching-videos-and-buying-the-book piano study, and this touches on another aspect of this topic. It could be that piano/keyboard study by volume has seen no significant decline, but there’s every chance that the national pianistic skill set is in decline.

It’s a fascinating time in the United States, a time of substantial cultural reframing and contention. The study of the piano could well be a case study for this rethinking of what it means to be an American with an education (even if you never did make it to college)….

So lets break down what the lovely Elissa said in point form...

• Undergraduate students in the USA studying piano is up, but most of that is due to international students who are coming to the USA to study.
• The increase does not necessarily match the overall increase in population.
• Adult beginners are up.
• Beginners aged 4-5 are up.
• Sharp decline in beginners aged 9 to 10.
• Print music sales are down 4%.
• Between 2005 and 2012 grand pianos sales dropped from 35,000 annually to 12,000 annually.
• Upright acoustic piano sales are also down.
• Keyboard sales (under $200) are holding steady.
• The percentage of MTNA members who teach the piano is growing. (She didn't list the % however.) And as she points out, are MTNA members also going up or down?

Elissa then talks about a combination of factors that could be effecting the decline in piano students, including:

• Age of Distraction (and Deflection) - I chalk this up to too many computers distracting people.
• Sports Vs Music - With obesity rates in the USA, it makes sense many parents might pressure their kids towards sports instead of music.
• Too Rigid Music Teachers - Exceptions to the rule are rare.
• Piano teachers are not marketing savvy or tech savvy, losing potential students due to poor marketing skills.
• Online Videos / Books for DIY piano students.

So will there be a continuing decline in pianists? I think so. Maybe even go extinct centuries from now. Replaced by whatever musical instruments are popular by that time.

In the same way that some instruments just are not played much any more. *

For example the Yorkshire Bagpipes. Nobody - and I mean literally nobody - plays that anymore. I presume it was once popular in Yorkshire. Not any more. It was last popular during Shakespeare's time.

* See http://mentalfloss.com/article/55774/8-extinct-musical-instruments-mankind-has-forgotten-how-play

Five Strange Pianos

I must admit that the glass piano is my favourite. I like classy things like that.

There are days however where the piano in bed would be a good idea.

Not sure what kind of weirdo would want the pig piano...

Unfriending Facebook Friends

Today I went from 386 Facebook Friends to 252.

Basically I trimmed the fat. Everyone whom I barely knew, didn't know that well, only met once, never met at all - they all got Unfriended.

Some of them were also old friends that I just don't socialize with any more.

I wanted to get 250 even, but I discovered I was unwilling to part with 2 more of them.

Some of the people I did keep were Canadian celebrities I have only met once or twice, so but I ended up unfriending at least 30 celebrities - especially politicians.

I probably could have unfriended many more, but that would likely have been upsetting to some people.

There may even people I later re-friend again, which means they will have earned their place. And others in the future whom I unfriend, so maybe someday I will reach that nice round number of 250.

I did this partially for privacy reasons. The more friends a person has on Facebook that you barely know, the less privacy you have - and the more likely that your privacy will be invaded.

I have also been updating my privacy settings. I would like to be able to update them further to tighten up security.

Fake Lawyers = Debt Collectors + Scams

A friend of mine today told me how he was being harassed by debt collectors who are using fake names / fake personas and pretending to be fake lawyers.

It is the kind of thing you hear about in scams involving Nigerian princes.

You know the scam. They contact you offering money, then tell you to contact a lawyer who will help arrange the transaction, the (fake) lawyer then claims they can only process the transaction for a fee. Usually a ridiculous amount like $5,000.

At which point, if you actually pay them money you are clearly a gullible moron.

So the same thing is now happening with debt collector scams here in Canada.

The Canadian (assuming they are in Canada...) debt collector threatens to sue you for the debt (whether it is a real debt or just a scam) and then they "hire" a fake lawyer - who is just them using a fake name and not a real lawyer - who then proceeds to harass you with fake legal documents sent in the mail to get you to send them money in the hopes that the debt collector/fake lawyer will stop harassing you.

My friend explained that they will go to extreme lengths to make the fake lawyer look real.

They will list the fake lawyer in lawyer directories, having a website for the lawyer (which will usually be really small and incomplete), a LinkedIn account for the lawyer, etc. But if you dig deeper you will discover that the fake lawyer doesn't have a Facebook page, that there is no records of them graduating from any law school, and that the person does not exist - although they will use a common name. Not John Smith obviously, but instead will make up a name that sounds real and when googled does come up with results of people living elsewhere - but the fake lawyer in question will not exist or have the bare minimum.

• A Facebook page that was only ever used once.
• A Twitter account that is mostly empty.
• A LinkedIn account with very few colleagues / no real colleagues.
• Etc.

They will not have anything that isn't free. For example a listing in the Yellow Pages, because that costs money.

Now real lawyers do sometimes get hired to sue people for very large debts. That does happen. But when their retainer fee is $5000, you can be sure that they are not being hired to track down and harass people who have debts less than $25,000. It just isn't financially worth the trouble of suing people for small amounts when the cost of the lawyer is so much.

Imagine for example suing someone for $20,000 over a debt (a real debt) and paying the lawyer $5,000 in retainer fee. Even if they are successful in court, there is still no guarantee the person will pay them. The person could declare bankruptcy, they could move overseas and refuse to pay, they could "disappear" into northern Ontario and live in a cabin / drop off the grid for a year, etc. So the people suing would have lost $5,000 and still got nothing.

Suing people for money really only makes sense when the following criteria are met:

• The person you are suing has lots of money. Suing the poor is pointless.
• You are suing for a large amount. At least $25,000.
• The debt needs to be real. Not some phony scam.
• The debtor needs to have a contract with debtee*.

* The last one is actually really important. For example lets say someone had old credit card debt, and the credit card company sells that debt to a debt collection company for pennies on the dollar. So for example if someone owed MasterCard $20,000, MasterCard sells that debt for perhaps $200 to a debt collector. MasterCard's contract with the borrower is then finished. The borrower had a contract with MasterCard. They do not have any contract or agreement with the debt collector, which means they are under no legal obligation to pay them. The debt collector will then proceed to harass the person in hopes of making a profit off of the purchased debt. In this example, if they manage to get $400 out of the person then they just doubled their money.

And they do it via threats of legal action, fake lawyers who do not exist, fake legal documents that are not real (or filled out correctly), etc.

And in some cases debt collectors are apparently now running scams, because they have realized that the debt doesn't even need to be real. They just need to harass people until they get the money.

The whole conversation reminded me of James Veitch. A comedian who makes fun of email scams by playing along with them.







Now all joking aside...

Pretending to be a lawyer and harassing people for money. Shouldn't that be illegal?

And it is illegal. Because it is FRAUD. And possibly Grand Larceny if the amount is over a certain amount.

The problem is that the scammers / debt collectors are using fake names, and the "fake lawyer" does not exist. So how do you prove who was sending the fake legal documents and pretending to be a lawyer?

The problem is it is very difficult to prove. And most people don't go through the effort of trying to expose the frauds who are claiming to be lawyers.

So here is a challenge for anyone reading this. If you know of a fake lawyer / debt collector, please leave their name and supposed location in the comments below. This way when people google that fake lawyer / debt collector's name and city, this blog post will come up in the google search results and people will be able to instantly recognize that the person in question is just running a scam.

How to annoy a Millennial or Centennial - and Laugh about it.

Teehee.

A friend of mine did this on Facebook. Here is what happened. And I shall colour code everything to keep it easy to follow and understand.

First, context, he was responding to a video about a Millennial who got offended by a Hula dancing bobblehead on the dashboard of a Lyft driver. In the video the young woman (who speaks like a Valley Girl) harasses the driver and is rude to him, accusing the driver of "Cultural Appropriation". She then proceeds to threaten the driver, claiming she is famous and that she will embarrass him on Gawker.

To which my friend said:

"Millennials are very frivolous and idealistic. The problem is when they say stupid idealistic things they make their whole generation look stupid.

And talking like a Valley Girl like definitely won't like help either."

To which a Millennial named JD responded:

"So why isn't that applied to every generation? We don't Blast Boomers as being stupid because of Ford, or any number of prime examples But yet here you are blasting millennials as a generalized whole because one stupid person made a fool of themselves."

To which he said:

"Because Millennials have a reputation for being idealistic, frivolous, easily manipulated, easily upset, obsessed with social media, uneducated, pampered, lacking skills, and unmotivated.

Thus when a Millennial says something stupid and idealistic, their reputation for being idealistic and uneducated becomes signatory of problems plaguing their whole generation.

Babyboomers have different qualities/failings. But they are comparatively realists with a sense of humour. Generation Y (my generation) are overeducated sarcastic pessimists."

 JD:

"So in other words mediatized pretensions"

Response:

"Oh yes. Forgot about that one. Millennials are Pretentious. Give a Millennial a Youtube channel and watch how big their head gets."

 JD:

"what is appalling is how readily and blatantly degrading, condescending, and better then thou you are towards millennials as a whole. If you even remotely acted like this towards black people, or women, or asians, I doubt you would find it remotely acceptable."

Different person:

*gets popcorn ready in anticipation of a good old fashioned Internet butthurt showdown*

Response from my friend:

Posts an emoji of a cat sleeping and says: "Sorry. Was there a Millennial talking? I fell asleep from boredom.

Gnight."

JD:

"Well since i annoy you so much and you despise me so much. Your quite the arbitrary and prejudiced ass"

Response from my friend the next morning:

"See? The Millennial just proved how Millennials behave.

He got upset very easily.
No sense of humour.
Is so pampered he just expects people to do as he pleases.
Frivolous insults.

And easily manipulated. I didn't even have to try.

Thank you JD for taking part in this demonstration."

Friend who posted the video:

"How did I sleep through this?"

His response:

"To be fair I slept through most of it too. ;)"

Followed by a cat eating a hamburger, fries and pop emoji.

 But wait, this story doesn't end.

JD the Millennial in a bit of idealistic and overly sensitive rage, then unfriends his Facebook friend.

My friend later discovers this and posts on his own Facebook page:

Overly sensitive Millennial

unfriended me because I said

Millennials are overly sensitive.

Irony. :)

 A different Millennial named KS responds:

"As a more relaxed defender of Millennials I will just say that whenever older people say or do dumb shit we generally attribute it to the individual but when a Millennial says or does the same thing it is pinned on our generation as a whole."

 To which my friend responds:

"That is almost exactly what I said.

And I listed the stereotypes of how Millennials behave (like getting upset easily, being easy to manipulate, being overly sensitive, no sense of humour) and then he went and proved it for me by doing exactly those things.

And I don't feel bad about it because I barely knew the guy, but what I did know is that he was one of these easily offended Millennials.

I asked him once: "You going for a smoke?"

And his response was: "Yeah. You got a problem with that? It is none of your business!"

Me: "I was just asking."

He immediately assumed I was judging him and got offended by the remote possibility that I was judging him.

And ultimately what I really ended up judging him for was how ridiculously overly sensitive he was."

 Different person responds:

"Thank you for listing these stereotypes. I value your opinion so I would like to ask how you propose Millennials overcome the stereotypes you have listed?"

 And response:

"Well lets see what the stereotypes are:

Idealistic, frivolous, easily manipulated, easily upset, little or no sense of humour, obsessed with social media, uneducated, pampered, lacking skills, and unmotivated.

Logically in an effort to combat these problems they should:

☆ Start with turning their cellphones off. Spend less time on the internet.
☆ Learn to relax and take a proverbial Chill Pill. Meditation would be handy too.
☆ Don't believe everything they hear / don't do what they are expected to do.
☆ Learn what it is like to fail at something without being given a gold star for participation.
☆ Learn actual skills that are useful in the real world. eg. Tweeting is not an useful skill, despite what Donald Trump says.
☆ Take their Idealism and use it to actually become motivated to do something with their life.
☆ Do something that is serious and important instead of wasting time and effort on meaningless friovolities.
☆ Learn to take a joke."

 Different friend joking responds:

"That's it! U triggered me. #unfriended ps. c u tonight"

 The friend with the popcorn from the previous comment:

"Weak sauce, and a waste of popcorn. Hope the next one is feistier than indignant."

 To which my friend responds:

"The Millennial Ragequit. Having been raised on participation stars they have no stomach for failure and a hard fight.

Think of it like going to a boxing match between a Generation Y and a Millennial, and the Millennial thinks he will win because he has been rewarded all his life just for participating, but is inexperienced and the moment he encounters difficulty he quits out of frustration.

Meanwhile the Generation Y is a pessimist. They know all about failure. They are experienced from many fights. They know no fight is ever won easily and that it takes determination and patience."

 So really it doesn't take much to annoy a Millennial. They are so sensitive you can beat them with a dismissive yawn, a cat emoji, intellect and humour. And because the Millennial lacks both skills and experience, they are helpless against such an experienced combatant.

For reference, here are the definitions courtesy of a few Google searches:

Gen·er·a·tion Y

noun
noun: Generation Y; plural noun: Generation Ys

1. the generation born in the 1980s and 1990s, comprising primarily the children of the baby boomers and typically perceived as increasingly familiar with digital and electronic technology. Generally perceived to be pessimists.

Mil·len·nial

miˈlenēəl/
noun
plural noun: millennials; plural noun: Millennials

1. a person reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century, reaching the age of 18 sometime between 2001 and 2009, and raised on technology and pampered by their Generation X parents. eg. "the industry brims with theories on what makes millennials tick"

Cen·ten·ni·al

senˈtenēəl/
noun
plural noun: centennials

1. a hundredth anniversary. eg. "the museum's centennial"

 

2. A person reaching young adulthood between the years 2010 and 2016. Perceived to possess many of the same qualities of Millenials, but more so because the standard had been set by the Millennials.

Gen·er·a·tion X

jenəˈrāSHən eks/
noun
noun: Generation X; plural noun: Generation Xs

1. the generation born after that of the baby boomers (roughly from the early 1960s to late 1970s), often perceived to be disaffected and directionless, but also considered to be realists.

Baby boom·er
noun
informal
plural noun: baby boomers

1. a person born in the years following World War II, when there was a temporary marked increase in the birth rate between 1946 and 1964. Baby boomers were highly influential on the economy and culture of the latter half of the 20th century. eg."America's health care costs are expected to soar as baby boomers become senior citizens"



And lastly I would like to propose a new one...

Trum·poc·a·lypse Sur·vi·vor
trəmpˈpäkəˌlips sərˈvīvər
noun: Trumpocalypse Survivor; plural noun: Trumpocalypse Survivors

1. a person who survives and remains alive after the complete financial destruction of the world, similar to what is described in the biblical book of Revelation, during which others will have died. eg. "the sole survivor of the Trumpocalypse".
2. a person born in the year 2017 or any year during the Trumpocalypse.
3. a person who survives World War 3 and the End of America.

In the future the word Trump will mean to cheat, someone who cheats, or someone who goes mad with power and launches nuclear weapons in an attempt to destroy all of mankind.